Letter 179 The Hague, 5 鈥?9 March 1882
Dear Theo,
In your letter of February 18 you said, 鈥淲hen Tersteeg was here, we of course spoke about you and he told me that whenever you wanted anything, you could always go to him.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> Then why is it that when I asked Tersteeg some days ago for 10 guilders, he gave them to me, but accompanied by so many reproaches 鈥?I might almost say insults 鈥?that I could hardly control myself,
though I did. I would have thrown the 10 guilders in his face if the money had been for myself, but I had to pay the model, a poor sick woman whom I cannot keep waiting. So I kept quiet. But for six months I will not go to Tersteeg again, or speak to him or show him my work.
I鈥檓 not going to say that to him, but I鈥檓 saying it to you.
Dear Theo, you may say, 鈥淵ou must remain on good terms with Tersteeg, he is almost like an elder brother to us.鈥?But my dear fellow, he may be kind to you, but for years he has only shown his unfriendly and harsh side to me.
He would have the right to reproach me if I did not work, but it is unjust to someone who toils patiently,
hard, and continuously on a difficult work, to make reproaches like this:
鈥淥f one thing I am sure, you are no artist.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> 鈥淥ne objection which has great weight with me is that you started too late.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> 鈥淵ou must earn your own living.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> Then I say, 鈥淪top, watch what you say.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> One cannot always be friends, one must quarrel sometimes. As to the arrangement between you and me about receiving money from you, when you come to The Hague, which I hope will be soon, I want to speak about that with you in Mauve鈥檚 presence and with nobody else. Mauve鈥檚 large picture will soon be finished,
and then I suppose Mauve will give me some hints about watercolours again.
The substance of what Mauve has said up to now is, 鈥淰incent, when you draw, you are a painter.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> And therefore I have worked, and worked hard, on drawing, on proportion, on perspective, for weeks and weeks; Tersteeg doesn鈥檛 fully appreciate this and only talks about 鈥渢hings that don鈥檛 sell.鈥?p style="line-height:25px;text-indent:32px"> I do not deserve his reproaches, but I will be calm because I certainly do respect him; therefore I say, After six months we shall speak to each other again, for six months we shall not see each other.
If you can, send me the money for this month soon. I am making progress with my work, but cannot work without money or with too little.
With a handshake,
Yours sincerely, Vincent
I would rather go without dinner for six months and save in that way than occasionally receive 10 guilders from Tersteeg accompanied by his reproaches.
I should like to know what painters would say to his argument, 鈥淲ork less from the model because it is cheaper,鈥?when after a long search one has found models who are not too expensive.
Working without a model is the ruin of a painter of the figure.